A Bouncing Baby Boy
by DaRk MorBid AnGeL
Summary: When Ginny Weasley miscasts a spell, she accidently turns Draco Malfoy into a baby. Since the mistake was hers, Dumbledore and the professors all agree that she should take care of him. There's also the tiny little fact that he screams if he's taken away
1. Chapter 1

A Bouncing Baby Boy: Chp 1 Ginny Weasley looked down at the child on her lap. She looked at him. He looked at her. Suddenly he gave her a toothless smile, and started to play with his toes, gurgling sweetly all the while. Ginny sighed and patted the baby gingerly on the head. "Din-din!" he cooed happily as she made contact. Ginny sighed again. "No Malfoy, Ginny. Or Gin at least. Not 'Din-din'." He surveyed her, large grey eyes blinking guilelessly. Probably he didn't even understand her. "Din-din!" he said and went back to playing with his toes. Ginny rubbed the bridge of her nose. She was getting a headache. *** Ginny Weasley was walking along to the Great Hall, minding her own business when all of a sudden; she heard the sounds of a body being slammed against a wall. She should have just kept her head down and walked on by, fights were getting more common now, tempers strained by the tension of Voldemort's Comeback. Slytherin against Gryffindor, Hufflepuff fighting Ravenclaw... Ernie Macmillan had started it with Cho Chang, giving her a month's detention because she was she had been wandering the halls five minutes after curfew and the whole thing had escalated into a House War. Instead, Ginny had run towards the sound instead of away from it and found her brother Ron, Hermione, Harry and Draco Malfoy dueling. It wasn't really a fair fight as it was three against one, but since the one was a Slytherin, Ginny ran to help them. "Ron!" she cried, as Malfoy aimed a hard blow at his nose. "Are you alright?" "Four against one?" asked Malfoy as he skipped a hex from Harry. "I call that hardly fair, do you Potter?" Harry just got more enraged, especially since Malfoy was right. "When did a Slytherin care what was fair or not?" he asked furiously, "Ginny get out of here!" Ginny ignored him and rushed forward, Ron's nose was bleeding heavily. Out of nowhere, Malfoy's two goons appeared from behind a statue. Crabbe and Goyle rushed to help Malfoy; their fists were the size of cannonballs and had the same impact on unlucky victims'. They had Hermione and Ron in a deadlock immediately with Harry lying at their feet, Malfoy moved towards them, wand in hand. Ginny lost her head completely - Gryffindors were not famous for keeping their cool in a crisis - Ginny screeched the first spell she could think of. She didn't know what spell she had even cast, but a blinding burst of baby blue light shot out of her wand. When Ginny opened her eyes, there were rainbow lights flashing before her eyes and a strange wailing in her ear, like a baby's cry. Gradually the lights faded away, but Ginny could still hear the crying and it was really irritating her. Her eyes focused. Well, she noted, Ron's nose had stopped bleeding thank god. He and Hermione were kneeling over Harry's prone form, minutes later he opened his eyes and blinked. Ginny breathed a sigh of relief that was short lived when Harry said in a strangled voice, "I c- can't move." "Take Harry to the Hospital Wing," she instructed Ron and Hermione. They nodded mutely, having no eyes for anyone but their injured friend Now where were Malfoy and his two goons? That wailing baby noise was getting really annoying by now. Ginny turned around and was greeted by a horrifying, terrifying and totally unbelievable mirage. Crabbe and Goyle. On their knees. With a little naked baby giggling happily in front of them, holding Crabbe's big nose in one hand and a lock of Goyle's hair in the other. It had to be a hallucination. Ginny blinked. No it was still there. And now Goyle and Crabbe had turned to her, their brown eyes pleading with her to get the baby to let go of them. Ginny gulped. She walked hesitantly up to the little child. "Umm..." she said, feeling like a fool. "Er... could you let go of them please?" No surprisingly the baby ignored her. He looked at Ginny, then back at Crabbe and Goyle. "Ish?" he said, and tugged harder. Crabbe and Goyle winced. Ginny winced too. She couldn't see why the two big idiots couldn't just disentangle themselves from that cheerfully smiling baby between them. Instead they treated it like some very fragile, very breakable object. Ginny decided to grab the bull by the horns. She leant down and picked the little baby up, gently shaking his fists to make him let go of Crabbe and Goyle. He let go easily, smiling at Ginny as if to say 'See, I let go of them because you told me to!' Ginny held him uncertainly, for one minute their eyes met and Ginny felt a spark and a strange tenderness welled up in her heart. The baby gurgled and put his hand to Ginny's hair and ran his chubby, dimpled fingers through it. Unconsciously, she held the baby a little bit closer. Then the moment passed and she found herself ordering Crabbe and Goyle up. They got up clumsily. Ginny found it surprisingly easy to boss them around, she told them to pick up the robes littered on the floor which they did dumbly. Obviously Malfoy had them trained well. Malfoy. Where was he? Ginny looked around, no sign of him. She took a closer look at the robes Crabbe held; he just clutched them like a dummy. They were well-tailored, fashionable, expensive looking garments. Just the sort of thing Malfoy would have worn. Ginny's heart sank as she looked at the little baby held in her arms. Fine silvery gold hair clung to his head; big gray eyes stared up at her with no small amount of mischief glittering in them. Pointed chin. Pale porcelain skin. Oh god no. Ginny stopped holding him so close, instead, she held him an arms length away. "Malfoy?" she asked uncertainly. "Dwaco!" he replied, giggling and wriggling. Ginny's face went white. Draco Malfoy was a little baby, she was carrying him, and he was as naked as when he came into being. "Give me those robes you two fools!" she snapped. They handed them over. Ginny hurriedly wrapped the baby up in them. Obviously infant Draco was used to gentler care and better fitting clothes. He started to wail something awful. "Hush," said Ginny sternly. It didn't work, he was still screaming, and getting louder every second. "Draco!" At the sound of his name he looked up at her, tears streaming down his elfin face. "Ginny will take you to your mummy and daddy if you stop crying ok?" "Dinny?" He repeated her name. "Don' wan' Mummy. Want unkel Sevvie." "You want who?" asked Ginny, forgetting to speak slowly and clearly. Draco put his hands to his ears. "Din-din don' yell so loud. Yucky." "Ginny. My name is Ginny. Weasley if you prefer." Somehow there was something terribly wrong about Draco Malfoy giving her a nickname. Even if Draco Malfoy was now an infant and it was all her fault. Draco had no qualms. "You. Din-din." And then in case she didn't understand, "Me. Dwaco." "Yes." Ginny decided it was time to get him to the Hospital Wing. Crabbe and Goyle had long sneaked away and it was only she and little Draco left. She could feel a headache coming on. "You're Draco. But I'm Ginny." "Din-din." "Ginny." "Din-din." "Ginny." "Din-din!" "Ginny!" He screwed up his face like he was going to cry. "Ok, ok," interposed Ginny rapidly, "I'm Gin-gin." "Din-din." "Fine. Whatever. Din-din." They reached the Hospital Wing without anyone seeing them. Ginny pushed open the door awkwardly with one hand. Draco was heavy. Hermione and Ron were still there. They looked up as Ginny entered. The looks on their faces were identical and hilarious. Draco burst into delighted laughter and clapped his hands. "Stop squirming Draco!" scolded Ginny. She was only a slight girl and the weight of a wriggling baby in her arms was a bit too much to handle. Madam Pomfrey came bustling up, a bottle of half orange, and half purple liquid in her hand. "Miss Weasley!" she gasped, hurrying up to her and taking the still fidgeting Draco from Ginny. The instant he was plucked from Ginny's arms he screwed tight his eyes and began to yowl. "Shh..." soothed Madam Pomfrey unsuccessfully. Ginny groaned. "Draco!" she snapped. "Hush, right now. Din-din orders you!" He didn't shut up. Instead, her sharp tone caused him to howl even louder. "Din-din! Unkel Sevvie!" Ginny almost slapped him, her temper, slow to ignite but fearsome when it did, would have snapped if Ron, knowing his sister, hadn't grabbed her wrists. "Who's Din-din?" he asked, "and who's Unkel Sevvie?" Ginny ignored him as Harry's head popped out of a nearby bed. "What's going on?" he asked weakly. "Harry! Are you alright?" asked Ginny anxiously. There was the beginning of a spectacular black eye and his nose looked somewhat out of place. Draco seeing that 'Din-din' wasn't giving him her undivided attention screamed himself blue in the face, tearing and ripping at the robes covering him awkwardly. "Oh Draco!" cried Ginny. She rushed to him in alarm (his face was now puce) and snatched him from poor, dazed Madam Pomfrey's arms. "Hush..." she crooned, rocking him in her arms. Gradually he quieted down reluctantly. "Good boy," said Ginny, smiling at him. When she looked up, it was to be greeted with incredulous stares from Ron, Hermione, Madam Pomfrey and Harry. "Ginny?" asked Ron credulously. "Yes?" "Where did the baby come from?" Harry, Hermione and Madam Pomfrey nodded in agreement. "Well?" "Alright," gulped Ginny, cradling Draco. "But you're not going to like it." 


	2. Chapter 2

A Bouncing Baby Boy Chap 2  
  
Ginny Weasley was sitting in the Headmaster's office. Draco Malfoy was sitting in her lap, bouncing up and down with joy at being able to see his reflection in Dumbledore's well-polished mahogany table. Happily he waved, preened and drooled at his image, ignoring Ginny's agonized pleadings to "be a good boy and just shut up!" Albus Dumbledore studied the unlikely couple in front of him; Madam Pomfrey's note lay on the table. After conducting some tests on Baby Draco, Madam Pomfrey had gathered that Draco was two or so years old.  
  
He is remarkably gifted with a powerful vocabulary, wrote Madam Pomfrey, her words round and fat and easy to read, his favorite appears to be 'Din- din' and 'yucky'. He is spoiled, and there is certainly nothing wrong with his lungs. In fact, I pity the person who will be forced to take him away from Miss Weasley for he certainly seems extraordinarily attached to her. Draco is an engaging little boy (when given his way) but emotionally immature for his age. He is terribly spoiled and fussy about his clothes. Here Dumbledore stopped reading and glanced at Draco, he had moved his attention from his reflection and was now staring around at the portraits of the former Headmasters and Headmistresses. A few of them waved at him and made funny faces. Draco was currently playing peek-a-boo with a formidable matron holding an iron tipped cane.  
  
Dumbledore took note of the fact Draco was wearing flattering black robes that fitted him exactly and brought out the silver of his eyes and hair. He must have made Poppy Pomfrey mad enough to conjure them, to Albus's knowledge, the only baby clothes Poppy had were all frilly bright pink or blue. "Wouldn't have suited his coloring at all," murmured Albus, returning to the note. All in all I hope the spell wears off soon Albus, or I don't know how we will cope! With a twinkle in his eye, Albus Dumbledore folded up the note and tucked it into his drawer.  
  
"Ahem," he coughed. Just then, his office door flew open and Severus Snape stormed in.  
  
"You needed to speak with me Headmas- Good lord!" exclaimed Severus as he caught sight of Draco.  
  
"Unkel Sevvie!" screamed Draco ecstatically.  
  
"Uncle Sevvie?" asked Ginny interestedly. So that was who Uncle Sevvie was ... a wide grin spread itself over her face. Uncle Sevvie-hoohoohaha-Uncle Sevvie! Oh dear, that was priceless. Snape looked at her. Just one look, and Ginny's giggles stopped trying to get out. There was something about Snape's extremely-poisonous-one-of-a-kind-death ray glare that just brewed fear and bottled laughter.  
  
To Draco though, there was nothing amiss about his beloved Unkel Sevvie who protected him from almost everything. He hollered at the top of his capable lungs to be given to Unkel Sevvie.  
  
"Unkel Sevvie! Unkel Sevvie! Din-din! Unkel Sevvie!" he screamed, jiggling up and down. "Unkel Sevvie! Unkel Sevvie!"  
  
Ginny wasted no time, she handed Draco over to Snape who received the little boy carefully. To Ginny's astonishment, all Snape needed to do was lay a long finger onto the bridge of Draco's screwed up nose and it straightened neatly as he stopped screaming immediately. Ginny could only shake her head enviously as Draco cuddled up against Snape. Dumbledore looked amused as Draco wiped his face on Snape's robes, leaving wet marks on it.  
  
"This appears to be Draco Malfoy, Headmaster," said Snape stiffly.  
  
Dumbledore nodded sagely. "Yes, that is indeed he."  
  
Silence.  
  
"May I ask why he is a baby again?" asked Snape, just as stiffly as before.  
  
"Ah," said Dumbledore, stroking his beard. "That is something we must ask Miss Weasley." All heads turned towards her. Ginny gulped. "I have no idea how I managed to do that sir." Snape snorted, cradling Draco protectively in his arms. Draco watched her with big eyes, as if suspecting that he had gotten her into trouble and regretted it. For a brief instant Ginny contemplated taking Draco from Snape, but then decided she was into enough hot water without risking Snape's scathing sarcasm. Dumbledore smiled at Ginny. It made her feel better as he added kindly, "It might not have been you Miss Weasley, perhaps at that moment someone cast the required spell and it hit Mister Malfoy by accident, but-" Ginny's heart fell "-but that is highly unlikely."  
  
"Yes Headmaster," whispered Ginny. If Lucius Malfoy ever got wind of this she was dead meat. Dumbledore seemed able to read what was in her mind.  
  
"Perhaps it would be prudent to refrain from telling Lucius about this yet," he said, "after all, the spell might wear off in the middle of his making a hullabaloo and where would that leave us? What do you think Severus?"  
  
"I think you're right Headmaster," replied Snape. Ginny cast him a grateful glance, which he dismissed with a curt nod of his head. Draco copied him, jerking his head so sharply Ginny was scared it'd fall off. "But what do we do with Draco now?"  
  
"Someone will have to take care of him until the spell wears off of course," said Dumbledore cheerfully. Ginny gulped, she knew who the lucky person was ...  
  
"I am too busy to take care of him," said Snape, cementing her guess. "I have teaching and ... work to do. Miss Weasley?"  
  
What could she do? Ginny nodded and smiled weakly. "I'd be glad to take care of Draco until the spell wears off."  
  
"Good, then it's all settled," said Dumbledore happily, he rose and clapped his hands, signaling the end of the interview. Ginny rose from her chair and Snape dumped Draco into her arms. Draco didn't scream, he gurgled happily at her. Ginny smiled at him, the first real smile she'd smiled all day. Maybe this won't be so bad after all.  
  
Draco flushed all her hopes down the drain with one sudden, bad, very bad smell. Damn, if she'd let Snape hold on to him for just a minute longer Draco would have pooped in his arms. Snape gagged and Dumbledore delicately waved a hand before his nose. "Lemon drop?" he offered brightly like that would stem Ginny's embarrassment and clear away the smell. Even though Ginny had missed lunch to have this totally unprofitable meeting, the smell Draco had made was enough to kill the legendary Weasley appetite, as was the thought of having to actually do something about it. "No thanks, Professor Dumbledore."  
  
As she walked out of the Headmaster's office, fighting the impulse to drop Draco and run for a good hand washing, she distinctly heard Snape say, "Can we open the windows Headmaster?"  
  
***  
  
Ginny leaned back into the red leather chair before the fire. The warm weight of Draco in her lap and the silent, humid atmosphere of the Gryffindor Common Room made her deliciously sleepy. It seemed to have the same effect on Draco as he snuggled up to her, his eyes closing. "Din-din," he murmured. Ginny smiled and stroked his head. When he wasn't screaming, whining, soiling his diapers or doing something disgusting he really was the cutest baby. Too bad Lucius Malfoy had to spoil it all...  
  
CRASH  
  
Ginny jolted back to consciousness with a bang. Now she recalled why it was so quiet. Everyone else had been attending the Quidditch Match between Gryffindor and Ravenclaw. The whole house trooped in with the various members of the Quidditch Team on their shoulders. Draco and Ginny jolted back to reality, and Draco screwed up his face, prepared to let out one of his ear splitting yowls. "Oi!" yelled Ginny, surpassing Draco himself and discouraging him so that he shut up. "SHUT UP! YOU'LL WAKE THE BABY!"  
  
Instantly the sound was muted. Draco had been around long enough for them to know him, worship him and fear him. "Honestly, Ginny," whispered Hermione as she dropped into the chair before her. "He's not really your kid, you know. It's been a week already. He's adorable, but you've got to let him get used to the fact that he isn't the only baby in the world." Draco's eyes snapped open at this blasphemous speech. He glared at Hermione. "'Udbood," he said, it was clear what he meant.  
  
Ginny shook her head in remonstrance. "Don't ever let me hear you say that again, Draco," she scolded, hitting him lightly on the wrist.  
  
He shook his head, lower lip sticking out. "Din-din," he said, his eyes wide and starry. "Din-din nice, Udbood no."  
  
Ginny had to laugh at the look on Hermione's face. "Draco ..." she laughed. "Say sorry to Hermione now or I'll let Parvati and Lavender have you again."  
  
A look of horror appeared on his little face. The last time Ginny had let Lavender and Parvati take care of Draco he had been bathed, perfumed, brushed, squealed over, kissed and finally as the piece de résistance - his nails had been manicured to a very 'manly shade of pink.' "Solly, udbood," he said sulkily. Ginny smiled at him but as she looked away from him he stuck his tongue out at Hermione.  
  
"Humph," said Hermione. She didn't intend to stay here and be insulted by that spoiled brat of a Malfoy. Hermione flounced off to speak to Harry and Ron about Ginny's infatuation with baby Malfoy.  
  
Moments later, Ron and Harry appeared beside Ginny. Draco stared at them balefully. He didn't like them. The one with the ugly red slashy thing on his head always treated him like he was dumb and the one with the ugly red spots on his face acted like he'd want to throw him out of the window first chance he got. Draco never helped their relationship by calling them "Potty" and "Weak-e". Ginny told him time and time again to call them "Harry" and "Ron" but it was hard when he looked at her with such a sweet look of confusion on his face, eyes large and limpid with miscomprehension.  
  
"Hi Ginny, Malfoy," said Harry easily. He smiled at Ginny and grimaced at Draco. The baby's baleful stare deepened.  
  
Ron dropped down with a groan into a chair. He smeared mud all over it. "Hey Gin," he said. "Still holding onto the Brat?" He made a face at Draco.  
  
Draco dropped the baleful look quickly and adopted a little half sad smile. Ginny, who saw only the smile but not the Look, turned to Ron reproachfully. "Ron!" she snapped. "Look at his sweet ickle smile. Can't you see he likes you? Stop acting like such a prat. Isn't that right, Draco?"  
  
Draco nodded empathically. His smile widened onto a smirk, which he showed to Ron evilly before burying his head into Ginny's clothes. Ron looked at Draco in loathing. "Ginny," he implored. "Can't you see that little beast is depraved?"  
  
"Ron!" said Ginny angrily.  
  
Ron shot an angry look at Harry. "Er ..." mumbled Harry. "I think Ron's right ..."  
  
"Oh you!" Ginny glared at both of them. "Biased, that's what you two are." She got up form her chair and started to stomp angrily out.  
  
Ron and Harry looked at each other. "Well."  
  
Harry nodded. Ron was right. "Well."  
  
"Hermione's right," said Ron gloomily. "My little sister is besotted with that howling, two faced, foul spawn of hell."  
  
Normally Harry would have protested Ron's use of adjectives, but in this case he thought they were perfectly justified.  
  
***  
  
Ginny stormed her way down the corridor, Draco hoisted indelicately over her shoulder. Even that spoiled child knew not to disturb Ginny when she was in this kind of mood. So, even though the way he was being joggled about made his delicate stomach turn, he kept absolutely quiet.  
  
Two First Years dove out of her way hurriedly. Ginny Weasley looked like a force to be reckoned with. Her brown eyes were flashing dangerously, and her face was deathly pale, so her freckles stood out like fleas in snow. Just as she was turning the corner, still thinking murderous thoughts, she bumped into someone.  
  
Ginny lifted her rebellious eyes. Professor Kathryn Lim, the new Muggle Studies Professor. "Miss Weasley," she said, inclining her head slightly. Seeing the look on Ginny's face she smiled slightly, very slightly. "Professor Snape sent me to seek you out," she lied smoothly. "He wants his turn with Draco. Why don't I take him away from you and give the child to his doting uncle?" Ginny handed Draco over wordlessly. Draco screwed up his mouth, ready to yell. Ginny felt vaguely comforted that he would miss her. Professor Lim, in the meantime, didn't give Draco time to build up his howl. Quickly, she tapped his mouth with her wand. He stayed silent. Ginny almost laughed at the look of relief on her face. "Have a nice day, Miss Weasley," smiled Professor Lim. Draco's eyes bulged as this impertinent stranger dared take him away from 'Din-din'. He couldn't yell, his mouth felt all sticky. Draco tried to make his face turn blue, but it was no use. Ginny had turned her back on him, and the stranger was carrying him off to goodness knows where. And being a melodramatic baby, he decided it was off to his doom.  
  
*** Ginny told herself that it was wrong to be so absurdly light hearted because there was no longer Draco's heavy weight to lug around. She told herself it was cruel to not miss his drooling on her green robes and his chewing on her neck, but she had to admit the truth. She was bloody glad that she didn't need to yank Draco along, or feed him, or clean him, or amuse him. She was free! For a while.  
  
"Ginny!" Ginny recognized the voice and turned around joyfully to greet the owner of it.  
  
"Colin!" She grinned and waved enthusiastically at the small boy. Even though Colin was older then her by a few months, she was taller, which was a real shame because Colin was very cute after his mousy brown hair had darkened to a nice light chocolate shade. He had his camera slung over his shoulder as usual.  
  
"Got some photos of your baby!" he said excitedly, handing them over to her. "Where is he anyway?"  
  
Ginny laughed as photo Draco pulled Ron's hair with malicious glee. "Babysitter." Snape would probably kill her if he knew what she called him. "He'll be there for a long, long while."  
  
"My and aren't we happy about it?" commented Colin knowledgably. He knew how she felt; after all he had Dennis to contend with. "Tell you what, let's go find Neville and head of to Hogsmeade. They have a chocolate sale."  
  
"Brill," said Ginny happily. "And we'll bring Luna as well."  
  
"Old Loony Lovegood?" asked Colin skeptically.  
  
Ginny scowled at him. "Weren't so long ago people called you Harry's stalker."  
  
"Oh fine," conceded Colin. "Let's go find Neville and Loo- Luna Lovegood then."  
  
Ginny thought she could hear the faint sound of a scream. I think, thought Ginny, that I'd better buy Draco something sweet to make it up to him. There was another weak howl. Ginny winced. Maybe a bottle of Butterbeer too.  
  
(Creadited to the wonder ful author:100percent_Sirius) 


	3. Chapter 3

DISCLAIMER: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.  
  
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ABBB chap 3 Draco tried to scream all the way down the dungeons but the evil lady who took him from 'Din-din' was strong and relentless. She hauled him indelicately like a sack of potatoes and frequently told him he weighed as much as a whale. It was certainly not his fault that Din-din fed him on milk that was high in carbohydrates. To compensate for his lack of vocals, he pounded the evil lady's head, shoulders and back. "Ouch," she snapped more then once. "Stop that or I'll feed you to the Giant Squid!" Draco would stop grizzling awhile, but then he would start up again, the frustration that filed his frail little body too much to hold in. Kathryn was beginning to think that modern historians were apt to be a bit hard on the baby burying King Herod of the bible. She cursed the sentimental modern laws that prohibited interring of baby boys of two years age and blond hair into the ground. Kathryn personally thought that if she buried the whinging little brat she deserved a Nobel Peace Prize. Just when her eyes were getting that particularly murderous tinge of brown Severus unwittingly saved Draco's life by turning up unexpectedly. "Kat!" he exclaimed with surprise, black eyes widening. "Get this foul little beast off me Severus," hissed Kathryn. He hurriedly complied, recognizing the wild coffee look in her eyes. "You put a Silencing Charm on him?" he drawled mockingly, Draco safely interred in his arms. "How very cruel." "My back must be black and blue," snapped Kathryn. "That rancid little animal used me as his personal punching bag for taking him away from his Weasley girl." Severus pressed the wand to Draco's face, intending to take off the spell. "No!" cried Kathryn - too late! Freed from his constraint, Draco let loose with the force of ten gales and four monster trucks. Kathryn clapped her hands to her ears. Severus would have too except he was holding Draco and tempting as it was, he couldn't drop him. That would only have made him scream louder anyway. "Shut him up!" yelled Kathryn above the noise. "Severus! You're his godfather! Do something!" Severus fumbled in his pockets awkwardly, still trying not to drop Draco. "Where is it? Where is it?" he mumbled, trying one pocket then the other. "Ah! Got it!" He pulled a pacifier out of his pocket and stuck it into Draco's mouth. Instantly, the noise ceased like magic. Draco sucked on the pacifier sulkily, his loud sobs miraculously ceased. "Thank you," said Kathryn fervently. Draco gave her the glare he gave Ron, Hermione, Harry and almost everyone not Din-din and Unkel Sevvie. Kathryn returned the favor. Severus shook his head and rearranged Draco's limbs so that it was easier to carry him. "I'm going to take him to my rooms," he told Kat. "Give him something to eat or maybe lay him down for a nap. Coming?" Kathryn and Draco didn't break their death stare match. "Fine," she replied shortly. Severus shook his head. "Kathryn Lim," he muttered. "The only woman fool enough to try and stare down a two year old." "Whose side are you on?" demanded Kathryn indignantly. She and Draco carried on glowering at each other, Draco sucking on his pacifier like it was some kind of juicy cigar, all the way to Severus's chambers. "Stop it," ordered Severus sharply. It was the kind of voice he used for his particularly unruly students and it worked just as well on a baby and a woman. They looked away, very slowly and maliciously, but still they looked away. Severus rolled his eyes. *** Severus was hunched over his desk marking test papers. Kathryn and Draco were on the bed. Draco was sucking on his bottle. His eyes were closed, an extraordinarily trusting gesture considering the Evil Lady (he was now thinking of her in Capitals) was sitting beside him. Draco was reassured by Unkel Sevvie's warm presence and since he believed his beloved godfather could rescue him form a crowd of stampeding Hippogriffs, so one Evil Lady was no match for him. Little did he know - being so young he had no idea of the backstabbing ways of the world - that his Unkel Sevvie was actually bosom buddies with the Evil Lady. Severus and Kathryn had met outside a bookstore, when she had been accused of stealing. Severus had gotten her out with good advice. She had thanked him and they parted, thinking no more of each other. However, kismet had other plans for them, and they met, together with another pawn in the chess game of life by the name Lily Evans. They interacted and parted. This time as enemies. Still fate would not let them be. Kathryn failed an important Potions Test. She walked up to a tall tower with icy rain plummeting around her. Lily and Severus witnessing this, jumped to the conclusion that she was going there to commit suicide. They followed her and Severus lunged at her. After this misunderstanding, Severus and Lily offered their tutoring. Kathryn accepted. Somehow, they became best friends. Neither Kathryn nor Severus would have hurt each other for a bushel of gold. They were the only ones (or so they had thought) who knew about each other's friendship with Lily Evans and the other member of their renegade group, Calcifer 'Howl' Jones. However, that did not stop them from trying to bait the other. "Severus?" asked Kathryn. "May I ask you something?" He stirred over his papers. "Yes. Go ahead." "Did you know that I was bringing the little monster down here?" she asked. "Yes." "Are you sure?" asked Kathryn. "Are you absolutely certain you had no idea that I was bringing the miserable fiend to the dungeons?" "Yes!" snapped Severus impatiently. "What of it?" "Then," said Kathryn gleefully. "What on earth were you doing carrying a pacifier around the castle?" *** Ginny cocked her head quizzically. Either her guilty conscience was making her hear things, or she heard the loud, agonized howl of Draco echoing faintly round Honeydukes. Ginny listened hard but relaxed. She was just feeling a bit uptight over leaving Draco in the care of Professor Lim. She returned to browsing the tempting goods of Honeydukes. *** As a matter of fact, Ginny, guilty as her conscience might feel, was not hearing things. Draco was indeed trying to deafen Kathryn and Severus by screaming his lungs out though this time with some of justification. Severus had tried his very hardest not to, but in the end had snapped under Kathryn teasing remarks. She had knowingly cut his last nerves by asking him whether he had a potty hidden anywhere as well. With his last remnant of self control ripped by that comment, he had launched himself at her, trying, half seriously, to strangle her. Unfortunately, whilst wrestling about, they accidentally rolled over Draco. To say he was pissed off would be like saying the atomic bomb was a firecracker. "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Both Severus and Kathryn abandoned their play fight and dived for the pacifier. "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Horror of horrors, they couldn't find it! "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Where was that -insert unprintable word here- pacifier?? "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" The situation was verging critical here. "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA- ulp-" Kathryn had managed to find the pacifier and stuffed it unceremoniously into Draco's open mouth. Draco left off with his wailing, contenting himself with glaring heavily at Kathryn and Severus. To Kathryn's aggravation, his cheeks weren't even wet with tears. In fact, he had been yelling just for the sake of yelling! The mind boggled at such callous behavior. "I bet he could be heard in Hogsmeade," she said. Severus picked Draco up. "Don't be a bloody fool." *** Soon Draco was asleep, soothingly rocked by his Unkel Sevvie. Kathryn looked around Severus's room. It never ceased to astonish her that a bachelor could have a bedroom like his, not that she had a lot of experience. He had a large bed, four-poster like all Hogwarts provided, except he had black sheets and a large dark blue and green quilt covering it. The pillows at the head of his bed were large and comfortable with silver and green patterns weaving over them. The walls were covered with bookshelves, much like Kathryn's, and in them were books on every subject from Defense Against the Dark Arts and Potions to The Rise and Decline of the Roman Empire by Gibson. There was a desk near his bed and it was scattered untidily with parchment, and quills. "Kat," whispered Severus. "What?" asked Kathryn. "Shhh!" he admonished. "Moderate your voice, you'll wake Draco." "You mean I shall recall him from the depth of his slumber, the foul Blob?" asked Kathryn. Severus glared at her. "If you hadn't gotten immediately onto his bad side..." "Oh shut up, you-" "Shhh!" Kathryn just gave up talking. Severus tried to lay Draco on the bed but he squirmed and seemed to be waking up. Severus hurriedly sat still again. "Kathryn," he whispered. "You'll wake the baby." Severus winced at her ironical tone. A wry smile alighted her mouth. "What the students of Hogwarts wouldn't pay to see you cradling a baby, Severus. I could sell tickets and we split the proceedings. What say you?" "You better be joking," said Severus. Kathryn laughed and then leaned over to gently stroke Draco's head. He stirred beneath her hand and he made soft snuffling noises. Unbeknownst to herself, she sighed softly. Severus watched her keenly. His black eyes studied her face intently. She had certainly grown up, he acknowledged ruefully, though she was still a head shorter then he was, fitting neatly under his chin. Her brown eyes were soft as she watched the 'foul little monster' sleep in his arms. Black wisps of hair waved softly around her face, escaping from her loose braid. Not really pretty, but attractive if you liked that sort of thing. Skin the color of a peeled banana, eyes wide and tilted, shoulder length sheet of blue-black hair, her features were too irregular to be of any real beauty. "Can he walk already?" He looked away from her, slightly ashamed to have studied her so keenly. "Draco? Walk? I don't know. I think Miss Weasley mollycoddles him. She carries him everywhere. I think he should be able to walk by now. Narcissa neglected him scandalously. She would carry him, but never really take care of him. Draco used to sit there and just listen to everything she and her gossiping cronies said." Kathryn nodded. That made sense. She had been wondering where Draco had gotten his colorful vocabulary. "Madam Pomfrey said he's of two years age already, so he should be able to crawl at least." Severus shrugged. "When he wakes up I suppose we can test him." "If he doesn't deafen us first." Severus chuckled and reached over to ruffle her hair. "I'm not a little girl anymore," laughed Kathryn. "You can't do that to me!" "Rubbish," murmured Severus. "I did that to you when you were sixteen, till we left school and you had to go to that idiotic country, Masaylia or something, and I've got at least eight years of hair ruffles to give you." "That's Malaysia, you ignoramus," replied Kathryn, leaning into his touch. He was handsome, she reflected rather dreamily, he was looking at her, half playfully, half earnestly, strands of his long raven hair shadowed his fathomless black eyes, and so dark they were almost purple. Severus's skin was the color of milk, a warm creamy white. His hands, nestled in the grass were slender and authoritative; his fingers were unusually long. Though his lips were too thin, they still somehow managed to look cruelly sensuous in a way Kathryn's small rosebud mouth could never look. Despite his large hooked nose, which Kathryn personally thought gave his face character; he really was very handsome. Severus leaned closer to her, she could see herself reflected in his eyes. Her breath caught in her throat. She tilted her head towards his and - Draco woke up. He took one look at the scene above him and started to kick at Unkel Sevvie. He couldn't understand why Unkel Sevvie and the Evil Lady were so close together, but he remembered that Mama and Dada had often looked at each other like that. He decided not to worry about it. "Unkel Sevvie, wan' Din-din," he said. "See, once he gets tired of you..." smirked Kathryn. "He'll send you to the glue factory like an old horse." "Shut up Kathryn," snapped Severus. "Did I hit a nerve?" "At least I've got some." "Are you saying I'm tactless?" "Is Draco spoiled?" "Why you-" And so they carried on, Draco got so interested in the name calling, seeing a chance to improve his vocabulary that he didn't remember to call for Din- din till Kathryn nearly hit him when she tried to get Severus for something particularly offensive. "DIN-DIN!!!" 


	4. Chapter 4

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**Title:** A Bouncing Baby Boy (04)  
**Author name:** 100percent_Sirius  
**Author email:** Serpentiosa@hotmail.com  
**Category:** Humor  
**Sub Category:** Romance  
**Keywords:** Ginny Draco Severus Kathryn  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Spoilers:** SS/PS, CoS, PoA, GoF, FB, QTTA, OoTP  
**Summary:** Harry, Hermione and Ron aren't very happy about Ginny's attachment to Baby Draco. They call a meeting to do something about it. But nothing gets past Baby Draco. He knows what the Terrible Trio are trouble, even if 'Din-Din' doesn't!  
**DISCLAIMER:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.   


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ABBB Chap4

Arthur and Molly Weasley smiled fondly at each other as an owl dropped two letters on the kitchen table. Ron and Ginny wrote everyday. Molly and Arthur had worked out a system, Molly read Ginny's letter first, and Arthur read Ron's. That might have been unfair as Ginny generally wrote much thicker letters, but Ron's handwriting was so messy that Molly almost always finished Ginny's letter first.

"Has Ron's handwriting improved Arthur dear?" she asked, lovingly slitting open Ginny's letter with a spell.

"No," replied Arthur. "He hates spiders so much you'd think he'd stop scrawling like one."

Molly laughed and started to read Ginny's letter. She fainted.

Arthur dropped Ron's letter. "Molly!" he said, bending anxiously over the prone body of his wife. "Molly!"

Ginny's letter lay on the floor, innocent with neat black handwriting on pale blue paper. Arthur fanned Molly with one hand and picked the letter up with the other. Arthur read the first sentence. His face blanched and he was suddenly inches away from joining his wife on the floor.

_Dear mom and dad,_

_ I have a baby!_

***

Ginny picked Draco up and kissed him. "How's my ickle Drakkie then?" she asked, tickling him.

Hermione looked on sourly. "I thought you said that kissing him was unhygienic?"

Ginny ignored Hermione and continued to dote upon Draco. Hermione rolled her eyes and stomped out of the room.

"Weasley!" she snarled, seeing Ron lounging about in a corner. "I want to talk to you."

Ron looked up and gulped. Hermione Granger was not one to be trifled with when in this sort of mood. She was the original Iron Lady herself: snappish, decisive, quick tempered, smart and sarcastic. Her bushy brown hair was tied back in a severe bun and her steely brown eyes were never hesitant.

"What is it?" he managed to answer.

Hermione marched over and towered over him. "Your sister is driving me nuts with that little monster."

"Ah." Ron fell into gloomy contemplation. He felt that Ginny was wasting affection on Draco Malfoy that would better have been used on an elder brother. "I see."

"You don't." Hermione was adamant. "We can't call our souls our own anymore. If we even turn over in the night your sister will nag at us for running the risk of awakening the baby. We have to help her feed him because she'll never finish her homework if she does everything herself and that little brat isn't even grateful. He bites us, and screams. We haven't slept for a week because he has colic at night and screams the roof off. Ginny drives us mad with hygiene because she's afraid that we'll infect Draco - like that little beast will even let us near enough to infect him! - And she waits on him hand and foot."

Hermione stopped for breath and Ron managed to interrupt her before she could manage to continue her tirade. "Well, what do you want me to do about it?" he asked.

Hermione fixed him with a resolute eye. "You, Ron Weasley," she said, "will talk some sense into her. Let her know that Malfoy isn't the only one in the world. In the meantime, I will be looking for ways to turn him back and let him plague the Slytherins again. Capeesh?"

Ron nodded. What else could he do? "All right..." He was already trying to remember the counter-charm of the Bat-Bogey Hex.

"Harry will help."

Ron gave a satisfied smile; he wouldn't go into the battlefield alone.

****

Molly was holding a cup of tea and rereading Ginny's letter. When she came to and brought herself to finish Ginny's letter, already planning a Howler demanding who the father was, she shook her head grimly. Arthur pressed the cold compress to his head. "Well?" he asked weakly.

Molly folded Ginny's letter up. "It's all right Arthur," she said. "She isn't pregnant."

"Thank god for that," said Arthur. "What on earth did she mean by giving us a shock like that? April Fool?"

Molly rolled her eyes. "April's Fool is _still_ a few months away Arthur."

"Really?" said Arthur, quite oblivious. "I tried it at the office one day. But you know, they didn't find it as funny as the Muggles apparently do. I wonder why?"

"As long as they didn't throw you into Azkaban..." said Molly. "And if you used something that Fred and George cooked up, I'm surprised they didn't."

Seeing his wife's eyes, Arthur subsided. He gave a sheepish sort of grin and asked, "Well, what about Ginny's baby? How did she get a hold of it? Or is it like the Muggle term of endearment - er - or is that 'honeybunches'?"

"She hasn't got a boyfriend if that's what you mean," said Molly Weasley in a tone that meant 'heaven forefend'. "No, she--she has turned Draco Malfoy into a toddler again apparently and she has to take care of him."

"You mean kill him?"

"There's no need to look so hopeful Arthur, when I said 'take care of him' I didn't mean _that_. She just has to care for him and she wants my advice and for me to send some of the boys' old clothes, toys and possibly a cradle since he sleeps with her and he still wets the bed."

"Oh..." Arthur looked disappointed. "Well, why can't she send him back to Lucius for a while, or send him to us? We can take care of him!"

"Lucius would tear up the turf and Ginny with it if he heard. Apparently Dumbledore has forbidden any student to mention it on pain of expulsion and, for heaven's sake Arthur! I am not giving you the chance to feed Draco Malfoy arsenic in his milk!"

"Oh I wouldn't do _that_."

"Nor can you Avada Kedavra him in his sleep. No, I'll send her that foldable crib that we used for the twins; you know the one with special steel bars? And some clothes, and Ron's teddy."

"Doesn't that one still have eight legs?"

Molly smiled, devilishly it must be admitted. "I'm sure the baby won't notice."

"Oh yes, he'll grow up thinking all bears have eight paws."

"Oh...Albus will be able to find the counter-spell soon."

"He'd better," said Arthur, more soberly. "Or we'll have Lucius Malfoy barking at our heels."

"Mmm," agreed Molly. "Well, I just go pack up the things and - Arthur dear? Feed Errol with some strengthening spells in his bird food will you? He might not make the journey."

***

Meanwhile, Ron and Harry were plotting guiltily near the fire with Hermione in the middle. The shadows played across her face and made her look fiendish and very, very intimidating. Ron kept shooting uneasy looks at her, which she pretended not to notice. She enjoyed being the boss here, and as the bookworm of the Terrific Trio; she rarely got a chance to perfect her management (terrorization) skills.

"Have you made a plan yet?" she asked after an interval of apprehensive glances and whispers.

"What?" said Harry. "I thought you were thinking up one."

Hermione sighed and kneaded her temples. "Am I going to be around you guys forever?"

Ron spoke up unexpectedly. "Hopefully, yes."

Hermione looked surprised. She smiled. Ron smiled back. Harry wasn't quite sure whether he preferred dominatrix-Hermione or Hermione-and-Ron-sitting-in-a-tree. He cleared his throat. "What are we going to do with Malfoy?" he asked, running his fingers through his hair.

The moment was broken. Ron looked startled and so did Hermione, but she soon put on her strict mask again. "Right," she said as if neither Ron nor he had spoken. "I am not going to be around all your lives. So you might have to use your own brains for yourself. Just try. I'm sure you can do it."

Ron and Harry looked at each other and pulled a face. Not sure whether she was being sarcastic or encouraging.

***

Crabbe, Goyle and Pansy Parkinson were sitting in the Slytherin common room. "I miss him so much," moaned Crabbe. He was talking about Draco Malfoy. He had only been able to see him from a distance, dandled by Virginia Weasley. Oh they missed him! If Crabbe closed his eyes, he could almost imagine Draco sitting in his usual velvet throne, the seat no other Slytherin was allowed to take, the seat that Pansy Parkinson had now blasphemed by planting her bum on. But she was dandy with a wand and she was one of the most important people in Draco's entourage so he didn't dare do anything.

"I know..." groaned Goyle.

Pansy rolled her eyes. "I think you two have masochistic tendencies."

***

Draco yanked Ginny's shiny braid. "Pweety!" he exclaimed happily.

"Thank you," said Ginny, smiling at him. "Good boy, Draco. Do you want to go down to the Great Hall?"

"See Unkel Sevvie?" he asked.

"If you want we can go see Unkel - I mean - Professor Snape. Do you want to see Professor Lim too?"

"Oo?"

"The nice lady who took you to Unkel Sevvie last time. Remember Drakkie? The one with glasses and black hair."

Draco made a face. "Blurgh. Wanna see Unkel Sevvie. Wanna see him now! Now! Unkel Sevvie. Go, go, Din-din!"

Ginny laughed and buried her face in his silvery hair. Draco ignored her like a little prince used to homage. "Go, Din-din. _Pwease_?"

"Oh ok," she said, still laughing. "We can get you some pumpkin juice as well?"

"Goody," said Draco happily. "Can make dwawings of Din-din again. Pumpkin juice color like Din-din hair!"

"Only you could make that comparison and mean it a compliment!" said Ginny. "Come on now. We'll walk, okay?"

Draco shook his head empathically. What? _He_, Draco Malfoy, walk like a commoner? Perish the thought! But Ginny persisted. When Unkel - Professor Snape had delivered him back to her yesterday, he had commented that by now he ought to be able to walk. Ginny was frightened at the thought that Draco might somehow be backwards so she was encouraging him to walk everywhere. However, he wasn't making it easy for her.

She set him down on the floor, but he just sat there. So she gently pulled him up and tried to make him put his feet on the floor with her holding his arms. He bunched up his legs and just hung there. Finally, Ginny had to give up if they were to get to the Great Hall by midnight. She hadn't really tried very hard, as she enjoyed the comforting weight of him in her arms like an anchor.

"Come on then," she told him. "Let's go find Professor Snape. We'll try walking again soon and you'd better put in more effort!"

Draco gurgled innocently at her, predictably melting her like butter.

"Oh, you cute ickle darling!"

***

Ginny walked out of her dormitory and nearly tripped over Ron, Harry and Hermione. "Oh!" she exclaimed. "What on earth are you three doing?"

They jumped and looked guiltily at her. Draco smiled a very evil smile that, despite his angelic blonde looks, looked very suitable on him. Ron glared at him. What spell had been cast onto Ginny to make her disregard the danger that Malfoy the Menace fairly exuded?

"Hi Ginny." Hermione was the first to gather her wits. "Where are you taking him?"

"Just to the Great Hall," said Ginny cheerily. Draco narrowed his eyes at them. How come Din-din didn't see how terrible these three treacherous twits were?

"Have a nice day!" said Harry, smiling at her and almost pushing her out of the room. Ginny allowed herself to be pushed, a bewildered expression on her face.

"Are you trying to get rid of me?" she asked.

"Get rid of you? Heh-heh, - uh - what made you say that? Get rid of you - uh- of course no!" babbled Harry and Ron. "Well, bye!" They slammed the door shut.

Ginny scratched her head, expertly balancing Draco on her hip. "You think they're acting weird too?" she asked Draco.

He stared at her. Din-din, they're _always _weird.

"Uh-huh." She nodded. "I thought so too. Oh well. Do you think mom got my letter? I hope my beginning wasn't too abrupt. I hope she sends me the stuff you need too, Draco! We'll get you a nice teddy, okay? And some decent clothes so I don't have to keep asking the house-elves to wash yours. They're overworked as it is. Right, Draco?"

Draco cooed and snuggled against her. He didn't really care what Din-din was saying, but he liked the singsong that she made with her mouth. Her hand gently stroked her hair. And so they proceeded on their happy way to the Great Hall.

***

Errol flapped his wings tiredly, a (what seemed to him) cumbersome package dangling from him. Molly Weasley had lightened the crib with a spell, and everything else as well, but Errol still thought he might collapse. Only the thought of seeing the magnificent white owl Hedwig kept him going. She needed someone older, more worldly-wise...he occupied himself with happy thoughts of her as he flew and flew and flew. The Weasleys would have been shocked at the thoughts that crossed their elderly owl's mind.

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**Author notes:** Sorry it took so long!

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